In love, someone always cares more. And that person is always more at risk.
September 2014. I was somewhere past Day 218 of figuring out what life looked like after everything fell apart, and this article from Elite Daily found me at exactly the right time.
It said something I hadn’t quite put into words yet — that in relationships, there’s always an imbalance. Someone always cares a little more. Someone is always closer to getting burned. And the one who cares less, almost without trying, holds the power.
I shared it then because it resonated. Reading it again now, it still does.
The following is reposted from Elite Daily. It’s not something I wrote, but something I needed to read.
There’s no such thing as equal feelings.
Every relationship has an imbalance — someone is always a little further in, a little more invested, a little more at risk. There’s no way to measure where the other person actually stands. All you can do is hope you’re somewhere close to the same level, and watch for the signs when the gap starts to widen.
Pride is the thing that undoes you.
Before a relationship even has a real chance, both people are often so guarded that they never get past the surface. You hide behind walls, and any sign of vulnerability sends you retreating further. But here’s the thing — once you finally feel safe enough to let the walls down, you end up caring more than your self-respect can protect. You stop minding how many times you call. You stop caring how it looks. And that’s usually the moment you’ve given away your last chips at the table.
The games never really stop.
Even in long relationships, there are still games — the slow reply, the casual nonchalance, the careful management of how much you show. These games are supposed to signal that you don’t care too much. But you wouldn’t be playing if you didn’t. And sometimes, after all the strategies and careful moves, one wrong message or one unguarded moment is all it takes to tip the balance.
In the end, it’s never really about who loved more. It’s about who blinked first.
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