Lately, I’ve been getting more frequent anxiety attacks. Just earlier, an email reminder about an assessment for one of my IT guys triggered heart palpitations and I found it difficult to calm down. Probably because the next email I saw was the US Cert for CVEs to review this week. Just thinking of the urgent things I needed to do is making my heart palpitate. Normally, the thought of urgent things waiting for me to do would excite me. I’d be heading to work an hour before my shift so I’d have more time to get things done. Now, I’m not finding the adrenaline anymore.
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Kailan ba “tama na” ang “tama na”?
Someone once asked me, how do you know when it’s time to let go? Kailan mo malalaman na tama na, kung kailan mo ba bibitawan ang pag-asang may patutunguhan pa ang lahat?
Kung wala na yung dating tiwala nyo sa isa’t isa.
Kung wala na yung respect na meron kayo para sarili at sa relasyon ninyo.
Kung may iba na sya, iba na yung nagpapa-ngiti sa kanya.
Kung hindi mo na kilala yung ikaw, yung ubos ka na. Sa sobrang minahal mo sya, napabayaan mo na sarili mo. Nakalimutan mo na mahalin din ang ikaw.
Masarap magmahal, pero sabay nito ang sakit. Minsan, hindi mo namamalayan na nalulunod ka na pala. Kailangan mo din tulungan ang sarili mo, kailangan mo din bigyang halaga ito.
Kasi madalas, hindi sapat ang pagmamahal lang. Kailangan may tiwala, yung tiwala na hindi nyo intentionally sasaktan ang isa’t isa. Kailangan may respeto kayo sa isa’t isa, lalo na sa relationship nyo. Respetohin ninyo kung ano man ang desisyon ng isa’t isa. Sakaling hindi ka man sang-ayon sa desisyon nya, support factor ka na lang and don’t point fingers kung things turn bad.
Pinaka-importante sa lahat is allow each other to grow. Hayaan nyo ang isa’t isa to grow not just with you but with other people too. Bigyan nyo ng enough space ang isa’t isa to become better individuals.
So sa tanong na how do you know when it’s time to let go? Alam ko na malalaman mo din deep within you kung kailan tama na ang tama na.
Fall in love, bittersweet love.
Just because it was bittersweet, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t love. When you love, it doesn’t necessarily mean it has to have a happy ending. We’ve watched too many Disney movies that we want all love stories to have that “they lived happily-ever-after” kind of ending. But life sucks and there’s really nothing we can do about it. Sometimes when we love, we know we’d eventually end up hurting but heck we still love.
Sorry I just finished watching Midnight Sun so medyo affected pa ko okay?
See, sometimes we still love kahit alam naman natin na sad yung magiging ending, yung alam ninyo that it would not last forever but go pa rin. Tuloy ang laban siszt! Kasi naman minsan, mas mahalaga pa rin yung ngayon kesa bukas. Yung mga memories na binubuo ninyo today, yun ang may forever. Love can be short and sweet, but it’s still love. Yung feeling na bahala na kung ano ang dadalhin ng bukas, ang mahalaga ay yung ngayon na magkasama kayo, masaya sa piling ng isa’t isa.
Pero naniniwala din ako that love is letting go. Kung alam nyong dun na lang talaga yun, let it go. Sometimes you have to be content in the thought that no matter how it short it was, it was one of the best moments in your life. Kahit masakit, masaya ka pa rin that you loved.
Kasi naman minsan, wala talagang forever. And that’s something that life and time has proven countless times. Kaya live the day, fall in love and give it your best shot. Coz you never know how long it will last. So when tomorrow comes, you won’t have regrets.
Second chances and what not.
*Just another one of those long overdue posts that’s been sitting in my drafts for some time now.
Everybody deserves a second chance in this world.
Tapos na. Sabi mo sa friends mo, okay ka na. Ayaw mo na talaga. Move on ka na nga eh. And then you’re driving one late night, some fvcking love song gets played on the radio, everything came rushing back in. Yung feeling mo na binuhusan ka ng balde baldeng nostalgia. You start to think about all the good times, why you fell for him/her. You start to reminisce how you celebrated that sweet first monthsary (Wag na e-deny, nag-celebrate naman kasi kayo! *lol). All the bad times disappeared and then you start to wonder if moving on is really the right thing to do. Maybe it’s worth giving it another shot? Maybe it’s going to be different this time?
I’m not saying that because I’ve never given an ex a second chance before, I did and it was the right decision, never regretted that. I’m no relationship expert, I’m just blogging here so please don’t take everything I say to heart.
An ex is an ex for a reason. It doesn’t really matter who ended the relationship, the “why it ended” is the only thing you need to look back into. The “how long were you together” might make a small difference. Kasi naman the longer you were together, mas madaming memories ang kailangan mong e-consider. Lalo na kung umabot na kayo sa “meet the parents” stage. Kailangan mo pa kausapin parents mo na hindi na kayo. And parents need to know para naman hindi awkward if sakaling nagkita sila sa daan ni ex ‘tas akala nila kayo pa di ba.
So, ano na? Second chances or not? No, kasi ang sakit pa. Yes, kasi masakit, mas malungkot mag-isa at sanay ka na palagi syang andyan.
Pero.
Put your relationship under the microscope. Ika nga, e-overanalyze mo, magaling ka naman dun di ba. How was the relationship? You’ll probably remember the good through the soft romantic focus of time and believe that you were really happy. Or you’ll remember the bad and still feel hurt, angry and resentful for the things that happened, forgetting the good things in the relationship. Isipin mo mabuti if the relationship made you a better person or not. Kasi naniniwala ako that the right person will stick with you when you’re at your worst but then he will always bring out the best in you. Pero pa-iba-iba naman kasi tayo.
Ask the people closest to you for advise. Tanungin mo friends and family kasi sila naman nakakakilala sa’yo. Tas pag-binigyan ka ng unanimous advise, makinig ka naman ha! Otherwise, pointless, di ka na lang sana nagtanong pa. Thing is, your friends and family will always have your best interest at heart so listen to them. But when you talk to your family and friends, lay it all out, don’t leave anything behind. Sabihin mo na lahat ng good and bad points ng relationship. Then they’ll be able to give you a fair advise. Baka naman kasi all bad lang yung sinabi mo, eh di of course no na agad advise nila. They also have to know the good things. But at the end of the day, it’s still up to you. Ikaw naman yung makikipag-relasyon, not your friends nor your family.
And when you have it all laid-out, make a decision at panindigan mo. Wag papalit palit ha. There’s a lot of reasons for possibly getting back with your ex. And whatever the reason might be, e-overanalyze mo din. Sometimes kasi we get attracted to the very thing that we can’t have and yet the minute it’s in our hands, we start losing interest. Or sometimes naman, we’re just too scared to be alone so we’d rather be in pain than be alone.
But if you do.
Start with a clean plate if you decide to give it another try, if you needed to forgive the past, forgive sincerely. If he cheated on you, make sure you don’t bring out the past otherwise you’re just carrying the past mistakes into the new one. If it ended because may ginawa kang mali back then, siguraduhin mo naman that he’s completely forgiven you.
It’s nice to be in love and even nicer when the person loves you too. And that feeling can get addicting that we tend to fall in love with the idea of being in love. But, it’s best feeling when you love yourself, when you know what’s your worth and when you know what you deserve.
Everyone deserves to be happy, to love and be loved, everyone deserves a second chance.
Xavy & Mom 