If I had three full hours for myself, I’d read a book or maybe cleanup my blog (but I’d need more than 3 hours for this one).
I feel like I can’t seem to sit in one place or do something for such a long time without my mind wandering off to something else. Okay, unless I’m working on an Excel report or coding some script. I tend to wander around.
When I really think about it, some moments I want to be alone, and some moments I want to be surrounded by people. I try as much to be with my friends so I don’t gravitate towards Primo but I always find myself going back to him. He’s like an addiction that I can’t seem to shake off.
I know what I need to do but I am scared of being alone again. Friends tell me that their fear for me is that I would go back to him again. That I would be willing to take on a “no label” relationship with him.
And that is also my fear. I fear that because I am so scared of being alone and I am desperate for affection that I would be willing to accept the crap in exchange for scraps of affectation and attention.