Lately, I’ve been getting more frequent anxiety attacks. Just earlier, an email reminder about an assessment for one of my IT guys triggered heart palpitations and I found it difficult to calm down. Probably because the next email I saw was the US Cert for CVEs to review this week. Just thinking of the urgent things I needed to do is making my heart palpitate. Normally, the thought of urgent things waiting for me to do would excite me. I’d be heading to work an hour before my shift so I’d have more time to get things done. Now, I’m not finding the adrenaline anymore.
The past few days, I’ve been sleeping late. My thoughts would wander off to things I need to do, things I failed to do and their consequences and just thinking of things I know might not happen anyways but still can’t stop thinking about them. Even the usual “kilig” of Korean dramas is not working it’s miracles on me anymore. I am finding it’s requiring more effort to be positive and cheerful these days.
So last Sunday, I decided to listen to “wellness” podcasts and install apps that will help me focus and cut down all these unnecessary things that’s prolly bringing toxicity into my life. I also downloaded a meditation app and habit tracker app. One of the things I learned from a Spotify podcast is that “highly effective people always wake up early”. So I will try my best to do this however miserably failed today, maybe because it was raining and I had a relaxing piano on the TV, I slept thru my alarm. But tomorrow is another day to try again. Also I’ve decided to cut down on my Raffy Tulfo videos and playing hours of Homescapes, read a book (at least 5 pages daily), play 10 minutes of piano daily, meditate upon waking up and walk Shepherd at least around the block every night. I’m also doing this social media detox, which should include cutting down my screen time.
I am positive I can my life change slowly. I know I will fall but I want to get back up every time I do. I want to improve myself emotionally and mentally. I feel like I’ve just been running around in circles, not getting anywhere, emotionally and mentally stagnant. I want to take a break and focus more in improving my habits, my emotional and mental growth.
So yes, maybe slowing down will help lessen these anxiety attacks.