Second chances and what not.

*Just another one of those long overdue posts that’s been sitting in my drafts for some time now. 

Everybody deserves a second chance in this world.

Tapos na. Sabi mo sa friends mo, okay ka na. Ayaw mo na talaga. Move on ka na nga eh. And then you’re driving one late night, some fvcking love song gets played on the radio, everything came rushing back in. Yung feeling mo na binuhusan ka ng balde baldeng nostalgia. You start to think about all the good times, why you fell for him/her. You start to reminisce how you celebrated that sweet first monthsary (Wag na e-deny, nag-celebrate naman kasi kayo! *lol).  All the bad times disappeared and then you start to wonder if moving on is really the right thing to do. Maybe it’s worth giving it another shot? Maybe it’s going to be different this time?

I’m not saying that because I’ve never given an ex a second chance before, I did and it was the right decision, never regretted that. I’m no relationship expert, I’m just blogging here so please don’t take everything I say to heart.

An ex is an ex for a reason. It doesn’t really matter who ended the relationship, the “why it ended” is the only thing you need to look back into. The “how long were you together” might make a small difference. Kasi naman the longer you were together, mas madaming memories ang kailangan mong e-consider. Lalo na kung umabot na kayo sa “meet the parents” stage. Kailangan mo pa kausapin parents mo na hindi na kayo. And parents need to know para naman hindi awkward if sakaling nagkita sila sa daan ni ex ‘tas akala nila kayo pa di ba. 

So, ano na? Second chances or not? No, kasi ang sakit pa. Yes, kasi masakit, mas malungkot mag-isa at sanay ka na palagi syang andyan. 

Pero.

Put your relationship under the microscope. Ika nga, e-overanalyze mo, magaling ka naman dun di ba. How was the relationship? You’ll probably remember the good through the soft romantic focus of time and believe that you were really happy. Or you’ll remember the bad and still feel hurt, angry and resentful for the things that happened, forgetting the good things in the relationship. Isipin mo mabuti if the relationship made you a better person or not. Kasi naniniwala ako that the right person will stick with you when you’re at your worst but then he will always bring out the best in you. Pero pa-iba-iba naman kasi tayo. 

Ask the people closest to you for advise. Tanungin mo friends and family kasi sila naman nakakakilala sa’yo. Tas pag-binigyan ka ng unanimous advise, makinig ka naman ha! Otherwise, pointless, di ka na lang sana nagtanong pa. Thing is, your friends and family will always have your best interest at heart so listen to them. But when you talk to your family and friends, lay it all out, don’t leave anything behind. Sabihin mo na lahat ng good and bad points ng relationship. Then they’ll be able to give you a fair advise. Baka naman kasi all bad lang yung sinabi mo, eh di of course no na agad advise nila. They also have to know the good things. But at the end of the day, it’s still up to you. Ikaw naman yung makikipag-relasyon, not your friends nor your family. 

And when you have it all laid-out, make a decision at panindigan mo. Wag papalit palit ha. There’s a lot of reasons for possibly getting back with your ex. And whatever the reason might be, e-overanalyze mo din. Sometimes kasi we get attracted to the very thing that we can’t have and yet the minute it’s in our hands, we start losing interest. Or sometimes naman, we’re just too scared to be alone so we’d rather be in pain than be alone. 

But if you do.

Start with a clean plate if you decide to give it another try, if you needed to forgive the past, forgive sincerely. If he cheated on you, make sure you don’t bring out the past otherwise you’re just carrying the past mistakes into the new one. If it ended because may ginawa kang mali back then, siguraduhin mo naman that he’s completely forgiven you.

It’s nice to be in love and even nicer when the person loves you too.  And that feeling can get addicting that we tend to fall in love with the idea of being in love. But, it’s best feeling when you love yourself, when you know what’s your worth and when you know what you deserve.

Everyone deserves to be happy, to love and be loved, everyone deserves a second chance.