How do successful single parents keep it all together? Yes, one of the fears of single parenting is keeping it all together and making sure I raise my boy into a good man. Will I be able to raise a son who would respect women and treat them like a gentleman, someone who has his principles in life and someone who will understand that every action has a consequence, may it be a good one or bad one? Too many questions and after too much reading, I bumped into an article on 10 Single Mom Secrets.
Seek Out Role Models. Single parents and their kids can flourish, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. This seemed right, make a list of single parents who did it right and make them an inspiration when things get rough. Yes, President Obama was raised by his single mom and grandparents; President Clinton, was brought up primarily by his mom; and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Everyone has a different story but it’s reassuring to know that there are people like me who really did a good job. Just thinking of all of these success stories and many more is proof that single parenthood is not only manageable, but an incredible gift that allows me to shape my son into a wonderful human being.
Find A Work Schedule That Suits Your Family. As an IT supervisor for the contact center of an online international travel agency, I get to adjust my schedule if there really is a need to. God is really good coz he gave me bosses who understand how difficult it is to be a single parent. Although I keep other jobs, as you know I need to keep up with the finances, but I make sure that these additional jobs are online jobs so I can work at home and keep an eye on my little boy.
Schedule Kid-Free Time. It doesn’t meant that you’re abandoning your child for your own personal needs but this is very relaxing. There are really times when you just need some quiet time and kid-free moments. Maybe grab a coffee with your girlfriends or maybe just go to the theater and grab a movie on your own.
Don’t Obsess About Things You Can’t Control. Fact is no one can force the father of my boy to check on him. It has happened that he promised to drop by but he did not show up. I guess the good thing about when it happened is that Xavier is still to young to understand what’s going on. I will keep in mind that I don’t want my son to have father issues, specifically abandonment issues, so in the future I will make sure my son is not emotionally attached to him so when he breaks his promises, Xavier will not be greatly affected. I will focus on what I can only control.
Count to 10. I guess this is the trick to when he’s going to be bigger. A few years from now maybe. It is said that single parents have no one to trade off with when they’re about to lose their marbles over yet another bowl of peas thrown on the floor. It’s a big no – no to yell, because it’s not healthy for the child and you’ll regret it afterward. Instead, walk away and count to 10, or just laugh it off. You’ll feel better in a minute, and ready to face the peas.
Don’t Have A Competition With Yourself. If there’s too many chores to do versus playtime with your little one, forget about the chores and spend time with your little boy instead. No one is keeping tabs on those unmade beds but it will make your child extremely happy when you spend quality time with him.
Point Out Good Qualities In Men. Without his dad in the picture means it’s up to me to show Xavier that there are good men all around him. So I make sure he spends time with his Lolo when he’s here. They bond together, go out on his Lolo’s motorbike and they drive around. I guess the main thing is I need to show him good role models.
Congratulate Yourself. I never really did this but now I know I deserve this. I should congratulate myself for making it this far on my own. Xavier can now walk so I should pat myself on the back. It’s a hell of a job to raise a baby on your own and a working mom at that. Whew!
Always Be Prepared. This I know too well. As much as I hate it now coz I have to bring all these things for Xavier when we go out but I have no choice. Moms are like girl scouts, always ready, may it be toys for him to get distracted down to wet wipes.
Multitask Strategically. This is very true. I try to keep up with work when he’s asleep. When he’s watching his movies in the room, I sneak some cleaning. When he’s playing with his tablet, I also repeat the nursery songs so he keeps them in mind. Work, play and even some sneaky learning gets done and everyone is happy.
Original post on 10 Single Mom Secrets.